Tag Archives: love

When the Climb Feels Steeper

01 Saturday Aug 2026

Posted by in bariatric-surgery, Cancer, Depression, Disability, Family, Fishing, Kayaking, Leukemia, Life, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

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There are days when I feel like I’m stuck in a rut. It seems like nothing I do matters anymore.

Lately, nothing really excites me. All I want to do is sit and do absolutely nothing. The television doesn’t interest me, so I turn it off. I tried reading, but after a sentence or two, I put the book back down.

I’m going through my daily routines simply because they’re expected of me, but I’m not getting much out of them.

If you’ve been following my journey for any length of time, you know I’ve dealt with some pretty serious health issues. Thankfully, since my gastric bypass surgery, my health has improved in several ways. But my CML is still there, and it’s something I’ll live with for the rest of my life.

I’ll be honest. It’s a constant battle not to end up in the frame of mind I’m in right now. I’m not at the point where I’d say I’m depressed, but I also can’t pretend it isn’t peeking around the corner.

I can’t tell you what triggers these episodes. They just seem to appear out of nowhere, and when they do, it usually takes me a couple of days to climb back out.

Is this just a “woe is me” moment? Maybe. I can’t completely rule that out. But even if it is, is it really so terrible that I have days like this every now and then?

I’ve been doing some yard work around the house—things that genuinely needed to be done—but my heart just wasn’t in it. I had the opportunity to go fishing on Friday, something I normally look forward to, but I made every excuse in the book not to go. Instead, I stayed home and worked in the yard.

This morning, I spent a few hours volunteering at church with some friends. While I was there, I genuinely enjoyed myself. We laughed, got some work done, and for a little while, everything felt normal.

On the drive home, I found myself thinking about all the things I wanted to do once I got back. That alone gave me hope. I thought maybe I was finally climbing out of this hole.

But as soon as I walked through the front door, that feeling disappeared. The heaviness came right back, and I honestly don’t know why.

Since getting home, I’ve done little more than sit in this recliner, not really wanting to do much of anything.

Maybe what I really need is a change of scenery. I need a break from doctor’s appointments every other day. I need to go somewhere where I don’t have to wonder what’s going to break next—or assume I’ll be the one expected to fix it.

On a brighter note, my wife’s car is finally back. That means I won’t have to chauffeur her to appointments anymore, and I can start making plans without first checking to see if she needs me somewhere else.

I’ll be okay. I’ve been through these seasons before. They come, and they go. Right now, the climb just feels a little steeper than usual.

Sometimes life is less about never falling into the hole and more about remembering that you’ve climbed out before. I’m trusting that, with God’s help, I’ll climb out again.

When Good Days Take Unexpected Turns

24 Friday Jul 2026

Posted by in Family, Fishing, Kayaking, Life, Nature, Twins, Uncategorized

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Tuesday was spent at the doctor’s office with my dad, following up on his broken nose. After examining him, the doctor decided not to do anything since he could still breathe through it without any difficulty. Dad actually broke his nose when he was a kid, so it was already a little crooked. I guess he’s had decades to get used to a nose that doesn’t point due north.

My plans to go fishing on Wednesday changed when my son called early that morning saying his air conditioner had quit working.

I haven’t had to do much HVAC work since I retired, so it took me a little longer than usual to diagnose the problem. It didn’t help that there were actually two problems. After several hours, two trips to the hardware store, a new thermostat, and a new capacitor, his air conditioner was finally back up and running. It felt good to know I hadn’t forgotten everything I learned after 32 years in the business.

My daughter told me on Sunday that she wanted to go fishing. Since she had a hair appointment on Thursday, she decided to spend the night and get an early start the next morning.

We fished for several hours before either of us had any luck. Her luck changed first when she hooked a big fish, but it got off before she could get it to the kayak. Then my luck changed when I finally landed one. Unfortunately, my good fortune lasted about five seconds.

As I was handling the fish, my phone slipped out of my pocket and disappeared into the lake, never to be seen again.

My daughter actually climbed out of her kayak and tried feeling around with her feet to find it, but it was gone. This is the second time my phone landed in the water, and you’d think after the first time I’d have learned my lesson. I have a phone tether on order now that should arrive tomorrow.

As the saying goes, a day late and a dollar short.

Needless to say, we called it a day and headed home.

After unloading the truck, I spent the next several hours at the phone store getting everything transferred to a new phone. It wasn’t exactly how I had planned to spend my afternoon, but at least I got to spend the morning on the water with my daughter.

I’d gladly trade a phone for memories like that… although I’d really prefer not to make it a habit.

When Plans Change in an Instant

17 Friday Jul 2026

Posted by in Family, Kayaking, Life, Uncategorized

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It doesn’t matter how carefully you make your plans—one phone call from one of your parents can change everything in the blink of an eye.

I had planned on going fishing today. It had already been a challenge just getting ready. I had a meeting Thursday night, so I wasn’t able to load my kayak until I got home late. I loaded everything else beforehand, leaving only the kayak for when I returned.

We’re also down to one vehicle right now, so after my physical therapy session, I needed to take my wife grocery shopping. Then I had to drive across town to exchange my shoes before I could even think about heading to the water.

Then the phone rang.

It was my mom.

She told me my dad had fallen outside. According to her, there was blood everywhere. She had already called 911, and the paramedics were on their way to take him to the emergency room.

I left the house immediately. I got to the ER so quickly that I actually arrived before the ambulance did.

A short time later, my mom and my nephew arrived, and Dad came in around the same time. He had a pretty nasty gash on his forehead that had cut open a blood vessel. He also broke his nose and badly bruised his right arm.

My sister arrived shortly afterward, and then came the waiting. Anyone who has spent time in an emergency room knows that waiting is just part of the process.

After about two hours, I knew Dad was stable and being well cared for. Since there wasn’t much more I could do, I left to attend my meeting.

A couple of hours later, after the meeting ended, I called to check on everyone. Thankfully, they were already back home.

I called Dad again this morning, and I’m happy to report that he had a good night. He’ll see a doctor on Tuesday to have his broken nose evaluated. I offered to take him, but my nephew may be able to do it. We’ll know for sure in the next couple of days.

Days like yesterday are a reminder of how quickly life can change. One minute you’re thinking about fishing, and the next you’re sitting in an emergency room with your family.

I’m just thankful the outcome wasn’t worse. At 87 years old, a fall can be life-changing. God was watching over Dad, and for that, I’m incredibly grateful.

Another Year, Another Blessing

21 Sunday Jun 2026

Posted by in Family, Life, Uncategorized

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Happy Father’s Day! I hope all you dads had a great day.

My family and I spent the first part of our day at church, where our pastor of 40 years preached his final sermon. It was a bittersweet day for thousands of people. Yes, I said thousands. The sanctuary seats 2,500 people, and during the first service, people stood along the walls and filled the overflow chapel.

After church, we came home and had lunch together. I was able to celebrate Father’s Day with all of my children, and I couldn’t have been a happier dad.

After lunch, we loaded up and drove to my parents’ house to celebrate with my dad. Today was not only Father’s Day, but also his birthday. He is now 87 years old and is the last surviving member of his family of four siblings.

For his age, Dad is in remarkably good health. He still gets outside and works in his yard and tinkers with his farming equipment, even though he doesn’t do much farming these days.

We nearly lost both of my parents in 2014 when a woman who wasn’t paying attention crossed the center line on a dangerous curve and hit them head-on. Both of my parents spent several weeks in the ICU. After they were released from the hospital, they stayed with my brother and his wife for several months while continuing their recovery and medical treatments.

Mom never fully recovered from the accident. She still struggles with significant back problems, and Dad has balance issues caused by damage to his inner ear.

They both suffered serious injuries from the seat belts and airbags. While those safety features undoubtedly saved their lives, they can also cause severe injuries during a major collision.

I consider myself incredibly fortunate to still have both of my parents with us. At their age, I know every visit, every conversation, and every holiday together is a gift. I don’t know how much longer I’ll have them around, but I intend to treasure every day that I do.

Days like today are a reminder that family is one of God’s greatest blessings, and I’m thankful for every moment we get to spend together.

The Phone Alert No Parent Wants to See

19 Friday Jun 2026

Posted by in Family, Life, Retirement, Twins, Uncategorized, Weather

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I was under the weather yesterday, and honestly, I’m still not quite up to par today. As a result, I didn’t get much done in the garage. I’m not sure if my illness was related to the weather or not, but it rained here most of the day. Whatever the cause, I simply didn’t feel like doing much of anything.

The heaviest rainfall came around 4:00 yesterday afternoon. My daughter was on her way home from work. Normally, her commute takes about 50 minutes, but with the rain, it took much longer.

We use an app on our phones that shares family locations. One feature I both appreciate and dread is that it alerts us when there’s a sudden stop along the way. Usually, that means someone has stopped for gas or coffee. Unfortunately, your mind always jumps to less pleasant possibilities.

My daughter had been talking to my wife through her car’s hands-free system, but decided to hang up so she could concentrate on the road conditions. A few minutes later, her boyfriend called to check on her. While talking with him, she hit a section of roadway that was partially covered in water.

The next thing she knew, her car was hydroplaning. She spun several 360-degree turns before crashing into the center guardrail.

As you can tell from the pictures, her car is pretty torn up. The front, rear, and right side all have extensive damage. If the insurance company doesn’t total it, I’ll be shocked.

Thankfully, my daughter is okay. She has some bruising on her left hand, which we think happened when she instinctively braced for impact. Surprisingly, the airbags never deployed.

Now comes the fun part—dealing with the insurance company. Since she doesn’t have rental car coverage, she’ll be without a vehicle for a while. My wife has already volunteered her car so our daughter can continue getting to work until the insurance company decides whether the car will be repaired or replaced.

That leaves my wife and me sharing one vehicle. With both of us having doctor appointments and other obligations, there’s going to be quite a bit of scheduling gymnastics in the coming weeks.

Still, the important thing is that my daughter walked away from the accident. Cars can be repaired or replaced. People can’t.

There will be inconveniences, sacrifices, and more than a little juggling of schedules, but that’s what parents do. No matter how old our children get, when they need help, we step in and do whatever we can to make sure they have what they need.

She Said Yes!!

07 Sunday Jun 2026

Posted by in Family, Life, Photography, Twins, Uncategorized

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She said YES!

It was the first anniversary of their first date, so it was no surprise that they planned to spend the day together. What was surprising was how the day unfolded.

He showed up at her apartment with a dozen red roses, and the two of them headed a couple of hours north. They spent most of the day exploring antique stores and local shops. In fact, they even had lunch inside an old antique store.

Later, they made their way to Little River Falls and spent several hours admiring the beautiful waterfall and enjoying the scenery.

The next stop on the agenda was Cherokee Rock Village. I had never heard of the place before, but apparently it overlooks a lake and offers some breathtaking views.

The proposal was supposed to happen around 3:00 p.m., but when 3:30 came and went without a phone call, we started to wonder if something had gone terribly wrong.

We were on our way to my parents’ house to pick them up for the planned celebration dinner when the call finally came.

She was so excited and emotional that she could barely get the words out. As it turned out, the reason for the delay was simple: there was no cell service at the overlook. Her boyfriend had also arranged for a photographer to capture the moment, and they spent some time afterward taking engagement photos together.

Everything went exactly as planned, and I couldn’t be happier for the two of them.

She made it official this morning by posting pictures on social media. I had promised her that I wouldn’t say anything publicly until after she did.

What she still doesn’t know is that we’ve known for weeks that this was going to happen. I have a feeling she might be a little annoyed when she finds out that small detail.

Now they have us looking at wedding venues on Tuesday. Personally, I think that’s moving a little fast, but it’s not really up to me.

Congratulations to both of them. I wish them all the happiness in the world as they begin this exciting new chapter together.

Time to Take a Break From Life

03 Wednesday Jun 2026

Posted by in Family, Fishing, Kayaking, Life, Nature, Uncategorized

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Time to take a break from life.

Tomorrow, I’m heading to the river to spend some time resting, fishing, and gathering my thoughts before I go completely nuts. It’s been a rough week.

If you’ve ever had to deal with AT&T, you probably understand my frustration. This is just one of the many things I had to deal with this week. The others will come in a later post.

When you call or chat with technical support these days, you’re often not dealing with a person at all. You’re dealing with AI. I’ll be the first to admit that AI can be useful, but it isn’t nearly as smart as some people think. It’s only as good as the people who program it.

If it doesn’t understand what you’re asking, it tends to circle back to a previous question, and before long, you’re stuck in an endless loop that eventually ends with the chat session closing without warning. And if you’re hoping to speak with a live person, you had better pack a lunch and prepare for a long wait.

This whole saga started last Friday when my dad asked me to come by on Saturday and help connect a new router that AT&T had sent him. According to them, the old router was bad.

As it turned out, the router wasn’t the problem at all.

Dad had already spent time with technical support trying to resolve the issue. Nothing they suggested worked. He asked repeatedly for a technician to come out, but AT&T seemed convinced that he could solve the problem himself. Eventually, they simply disconnected the call.

That’s where I entered the picture.

Friday evening, I spent an hour and a half trying to reach a live agent. After finally getting through, I was able to schedule a service appointment for Monday between noon and 5:00 p.m.

Monday came and went.

By 6:30 that evening, it was obvious that nobody was coming.

I then spent three and a half hours on hold trying to speak with someone, only to have my phone battery die before I ever reached an agent.

I called back and scheduled a callback for 9:00 the next morning. By 10:00, nobody had called.

Once again, I called AT&T and sat on hold for about an hour before finally reaching a representative.

To his credit, he was polite and listened patiently as I explained everything we had been through. By this point, the appointment had been moved to Friday, and Dad had discovered that the real problem wasn’t the modem at all. Phone lines in the area had apparently been cut—or possibly stolen—which explained why nothing was working.

I told the representative that, in my opinion, customer service had lost sight of the customer. If customers were truly important, there would be a way to speak with a real person without spending hours fighting through automated systems and AI chatbots.

There are some problems that technology simply can’t fix. Sometimes people just need to talk to another person.

The representative assured me that our conversation was being recorded and that he would escalate the issue. He said someone from AT&T would contact me regarding our experience, although it might take a week or two.

We’ll see.

After dealing with all of this, I am emotionally drained. The one thing I’m proud of is that I managed to keep my cool throughout the entire ordeal. I could have unloaded my frustration on the representative, but I knew he wasn’t responsible for what had happened. He was simply the person caught in the middle.

So tomorrow morning, Rick and I will launch the boat around 5:30 and spend a few hours on the river.

At this point, I honestly don’t care whether I catch a fish.

What I need is some peace and quiet. I need time away from hold music, automated systems, and frustration. I need to be reminded of who is really in charge.

And for me, there are few better places to find that reminder than sitting on a river at daybreak, watching God’s creation wake up around me.

Sometimes the best therapy isn’t found in an office, on a phone call, or behind a computer screen.

Sometimes it’s found on the water.

A Father’s Heart Isn’t Always Easy to Explain

31 Sunday May 2026

Posted by in Family, Fishing, Kayaking, Life, Twins, Uncategorized

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I’m fortunate that I don’t have any doctor’s appointments this week. That doesn’t mean I’m completely free from medical matters, though. I still need to drive across town to one of my labs to pick up a copy of the results from my latest MRI, so I can take them to an orthopedic doctor next week and have him take a look at my back.

Earlier this afternoon, I received a text inviting me to go fishing tomorrow. Under normal circumstances, I probably would have jumped at the opportunity, but I had already made plans to pick up my medical records. I politely declined and told him I’d try to make it another time.

The good news is that I had already told my wife I wanted to go fishing at least a couple of times this week. I mentioned that to my daughter today, and while she has commitments every morning, she does have one afternoon available. The plan now is to spend an afternoon fishing with her and then head back out the next morning on my own. One advantage is that I’ll be able to leave all my fishing gear in the truck overnight and won’t have to unload everything until the following day.

Saturday will be spent giving my truck a thorough cleaning. I don’t want my parents riding across town in a dirty truck when we take them out to dinner that evening.

As of right now, my parents have no idea why they’ve been invited to a nice Italian restaurant. To the best of my knowledge, the daughter who’s getting engaged is still somewhat in the dark as well. She believes it’s all going to happen on the 13th. The ring won’t be a surprise—they picked that out together—but walking into a restaurant filled with family and friends who have gathered to celebrate with her afterward certainly will be.

I’m very happy for my daughter, but if I’m being honest, I’m a little scared for her too. Marriage is a life-changing step, and like every parent, I wonder if she’s ready.

She left the nest several years ago when she and her sister moved into an apartment together. At the time, it felt like a major milestone. This feels different. More permanent. More final.

I’m having a hard time putting my feelings into words. There’s joy because I’m proud of the woman she has become. There’s excitement because a new chapter of her life is about to begin. But there’s also a touch of sadness because another chapter is closing.

Maybe that’s just part of being a parent. We spend years teaching our children to become independent adults, and then one day they do exactly that. We celebrate their success while quietly realizing that they no longer need us in quite the same way they once did.

I suppose that’s what I’m feeling tonight—a mixture of happiness, pride, excitement, and just a little bit of melancholy. It’s not a bad feeling. It’s simply the realization that life keeps moving forward, whether we’re ready for it or not.

The Sunday Before Memorial Day

24 Sunday May 2026

Posted by in Family, Life, Photography, Twins, Uncategorized, Weather

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For the past couple of years, my son has taken it upon himself to grill steaks, hamburgers, and hot dogs for lunch after church on the Sunday before Memorial Day. Today was no exception—except for one small flaw. It rained the entire time.

That meant no standing over the grill, no smell of charcoal drifting through the yard, and no pretending we were all professional pitmasters for the afternoon. Instead, he improvised. The hamburger patties were fried indoors, the hot dogs were broiled, and even the corn on the cob ended up under the broiler.

No matter. He still did a good job.

My wife made brownies and cut up the watermelon she had brought. My daughters made a special dip that disappeared almost as quickly as it hit the table. There was food everywhere, and thankfully, there was more than enough for everyone.

My son invited his girlfriend over, and one of my daughters brought her boyfriend. My other daughter’s boyfriend had a prior church commitment and couldn’t make it this time.

This gathering was also the first time we had been back to my son’s house since the water leak. The contractors did an excellent job rebuilding the damaged walls and replacing the flooring. Honestly, it looked like nothing had ever happened—which is exactly what you hope for after a project like that.

It was also the first time my son had met my other daughter’s boyfriend. As a father, you quietly watch those moments. You wonder how everybody will get along, whether the conversations will flow naturally, and if things might feel awkward.

But everything seemed easy and comfortable. Everybody laughed. Conversations bounced around the room. People drifted from the kitchen to the living room and back again. It simply felt like family.

At one point, I caught myself sitting quietly and just listening.

I admired how much my family has changed in what feels like such a short amount of time. One minute, there were no boyfriends or girlfriends around the table. Now, one relationship is likely headed toward engagement, and another is already hinting in the same direction.

Life changes slowly enough that you hardly notice it day by day. Then suddenly, during an ordinary rainy Sunday lunch before Memorial Day, it hits you all at once.

The kids aren’t kids anymore. Families grow. New people find their place at the table. Traditions continue, even when the weather doesn’t cooperate.

And honestly, I wouldn’t have changed a thing about the day.

The Kind of Person I Want to Be

19 Tuesday May 2026

Posted by in Leukemia, Life

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I had an oncologist appointment today. It didn’t last long. All that was scheduled was some bloodwork and a shot to help increase the production of my red blood cells.

The whole visit only lasted about thirty minutes.

As I was leaving the office, I found myself walking behind two elderly women. It looked to be a mother and daughter. The mother was using a cane and appeared to be having just as much trouble walking as I was.

I wasn’t in a hurry, so I stayed behind them as we made our way to the elevator. The three of us rode down to the first floor and then slowly walked down the corridor past the ER entrance and toward the parking deck payment kiosk.

The daughter scanned her parking ticket and tried to pay the $4 fee with four one-dollar bills.

The machine refused to take her money.

She tried several times, but the kiosk never gave her any option other than paying with a card.

By then, several more people had crowded into the small payment area. I could tell the daughter was becoming frustrated and embarrassed. She looked over at me and motioned for me to go ahead and pay for mine first.

After I paid for my parking, I turned to her and asked if she would hand me her ticket.

I scanned it and paid for their parking.

At first, both the mother and daughter looked confused and uncertain about what I was doing. But when I handed her the receipt, they realized what had happened. The expressions on their faces immediately changed to relief and gratitude. I think they were genuinely worried about how they were going to get out of the parking deck.

Truthfully, I was just going to quietly pay for it and leave without saying another word. But the daughter insisted on paying me back the four dollars.

And honestly, THIS is the person I usually am.

This is how I was raised.

I don’t care what color you are, what political party you belong to, whether you’re young or old, rich or poor — if I see someone struggling and I’m able to help, I’ll do what I can.

I follow a blogger on this platform whose husband and she are both living on Social Security. Between insurance costs and medications, they barely have enough left over for groceries. Recently, she asked if anyone could help.

I don’t get paid until later this week, but as soon as I do, I plan on sending them a little something.

Not because I have plenty.

Not because I’m trying to impress anyone.

But because I know what it feels like to need help.

I enjoy helping people. And to be honest, I especially love helping when people don’t even know where the help came from.

Sometimes the world feels angry, divided, and selfish.

But small acts of kindness still matter.

Maybe now more than ever.