Tag Archives: College

There’s Always Something

29 Monday Jun 2020

Posted by in Depression, Family, Retirement, Twins

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I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything but I’ve been doing other things and I haven’t taken the time to post.  To be honest I’ve been rather depressed as of late.  The fact that I’m not working anywhere and not able to keep my mind off of things makes it difficult to not get depressed.

Both my daughters graduated in May and here it is the end of June and neither one has any job offers on the table.  One of my daughters has a teaching degree and has had a couple of interviews but no one wants to hire her.  The other has some sort of advertising degree and she’s got several applications in but hasn’t had any interviews yet.  They have six months to get a job to start paying their loans back.  My son went through the same thing and we were prepared to help him with paying back his loans but as luck would have it, he got a job right at the end.  Now we have two that we’d have to help and right now there is no way we can help.  We just can’t afford it.  I guess, if worse comes to worst, we could get some kind of load to help but I don’t want to get back in debt again.

The sight of my daughter getting so excited to get an interview and then wait for a phone call that never comes is more that I can handle.  She says she’s alright but I know just how disappointed she is and I’m disappointed for her.  What makes this thing a little worse is that she does have a part-time job working at the YMCA.  The thing is that they’ve hired too many people and now only works every other week so she’s not making the money she was promised. At least my other daughter is working, at least until the end of July until she has to move out of her apartment and then she will be out of a job.

I guess it’s all part of parenting. There’s a lot more I’d rather do as a parent than to watch them struggle.  My son, who I was worried about when he graduated, now has a job making nearly twice as much as I did when I worked thirty-two years and he’s only worked for about four.  Go figure.  Maybe my girls will end up doing the same thing.  I pray they will.

 

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Life’s Changes

05 Monday Sep 2016

Posted by in Photography

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I believe Heraclitus that once said “The only thing that is constant is change.”  This is so true.  How we handle change is what’s important.  There are those that can’t deal with it and go into some sort of mental breakdown while others it’s like water off a duck’s back, or they hide it very well.  My wife is one that can either hide it very well or she has found a way to deal with it.  I guess I need to talk to her to find out how she does it. She does not, however, like the time change.  She fusses about it all the time.  Me, it doesn’t bother me one way or the other.  That’s what I call the little things.  Little things in my book doesn’t bother me so much.  It’s the big things that, if I sit alone in a room and have time to think about it, I worry about it.  So much so that it bothers me; I lose sleep over it, my attitude changes and my temper get’s shorter.

This year alone has been full of changes and misfortunes.  If I had to list them by importance I’d have to say having my girls moving off to college was one of the biggest changes in my life right now.  All the crap with my health is a close second.  But dealing with my girls gone is quite challenging for me to deal with. It’s what I’m used to I guess.  I’m used to seeing one of my girls sitting in the recliner when I get ready to leave for work in the mornings.  I’m used to the same daughter saying grace at meal times.  I’m used to the hug I’d receive right before I’d leave for work in the mornings and the smiles I receive when I got home.  Now, I see empty beds at bedtime, an empty chair at the dinner table and only a phone call late at night to tell me how their day went.  I guess you could say that it’s the beginning of the end of life as I know it.

Anyone with kids will tell me that I’m not alone.  This has been going on for hundred’s of years.  You’d think they would have come up with a cure for this by now.  I know it’s been going on for years but for me, it’s only been going on for five weeks, two days and thirteen hours. I really miss my girls.  I try not to dwell on the fact that they’re not here and that if  I need to talk to them all I got to do is send them a text and when they can they’ll call me back.  Another thing, they’re only an hour away from me.  It’s not like some kids and be hours by plane from their folks.  Oh gees, I’m glad that they’re close by.

I guess there’s one good thing about missing my girls is that while I’m missing them I’m not dwelling on the issues I’m having with my health. That alone will cause anyone to go into deep, dark depression.

I’ve starting trying to get out more and getting more active.  Yesterday I went on a small hike, about 200 yards or so.  I walked down to this creek that our boy scout troop helped clear a path to several years ago.  It’s being used and I even saw some fire rings being used. One thing that I saw that I didn’t like is the amount of trash left by the campers.  Why can’t people pick up their trash?  I can never understand that.  Oh well, thoughts for another story.

I Feel as Though I’m Losing My Kids

03 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by in Family, Photography, Twins

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My oldest just graduated college and my two daughters just graduated high school. My son is currently looking for a job while my daughters are working at a local water park from 9am until 8pm.  Both my daughters will be attending the same college where my son graduated and they will leaving sometime this month to start school.  Where has the time gone?  I was hoping that my daughters would spend some time at home before going off to school but they want to earn some money before leaving out.  I can’t blame them for that.  It’s just going to be harder on mom and me when they do finally move out.

I guess that’s part of being a parent.  Time for the kids to leave the nest.  I had my doubts about my son but he turned out pretty good.  My daughters are another story.  They will be sharing the same dorm but I feel that neither can live without the other.  They depend on each other so much. Both have separate majors so each will have their own classes.  They will just have to work it out on their own I guess.  Mom and I will be basket cases before it’s all over with.

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365 Day Photo Challenge 355/365 “Another Good Day, Sort of”

20 Sunday Dec 2015

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I have had all my kids here for the past few days.  My son left earlier this afternoon to go back to school to play at a basketball playoff game but he’ll be back tomorrow night.  Anyway, I got up early and cooked breakfast for everyone and spent the remainder of the day relaxing and spending time with the family.

All in all a pretty good day without much pain.  I did get out for a little while with the wife when cabin fever kicked in and I couldn’t stand being inside any longer. You got to remember I’ve been cooped up in this house since Tuesday of last week with the exception of the half an hour I spent attempting to go to work.  It felt good just being outside if only for a little while.

I share a lot on here and maybe a little too much.  That is why I won’t go into detail as to what I’m going to say next.  I stayed in the bathroom for nearly two hours tonight.  Everything finally passed and I felt like I gave birth to twins.  I’ll find it hard to walk in the morning.  I guess all the meds are making me dry up.  Even with that I think I’ve shared too much.  Oh well.

“Life Goes On!”

365 Day Photo Challenge 349/365 “‘Tis the Season but I’m Not Feeling it”

14 Monday Dec 2015

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I go through this every year.  It’s nearly Christmas and I’m just not in the mood for it.  It’s not that I’m depressed; it’s more of disappointment that I can’t afford to more for my kids.  The older they get the more expensive their needs or wants get and we can’t afford to get everything they ask for.

This year my wife and I discussed the fact that the girls will be going off to college next year so we’re going to make sure that we help them with things like laptops and other necessities for college.  With that said, that will be two of everything.  One of the things that we will be trying to get them within the next few months is a car.  This brings up another problem.  The girls haven’t decided on where they want to go to school.  Each one has stated that they want to go to separate schools and if they do go to different schools then we’re going to have a huge problem.  We can only afford one car.  I want the girls to make their own decision on where they want to go to school but in reality they will have to go to the same school or else one will be walking.

And of course I’m somewhat concerned about my CML levels going up the way they have.  I’ve been back to the oncologist and they’ve done more blood work to determine what the next step will be as far as the medications that I will be on, being that the ones that I’m on isn’t working anymore.  I’m hoping to hear back from him this week.

“Life Goes On!”

365 Day Photo Challenge 316/365 “Day 11”

11 Wednesday Nov 2015

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Today has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions.  First thing, all day today I have thought that today was Thursday.  I even went to an oncologist appointment today that was scheduled for tomorrow.  I didn’t realize it until the receptionist told me that I was there a day early.  She contacted the doctor and he agreed that since I was already there he would see me.

For those that have kept up with my blog knows that I have a son at the University of Alabama.  He plays baritone in the Million Dollar Band.  About a year ago he told us that he would be graduating this December.  We’ve been planning for his graduation for months.  His aunt has mentioned that she wants to plan a party for his graduation and he kept saying that he wanted no part of it.  My wife and I had our suspicions but neither wanted to admit that maybe, just maybe he wasn’t going to graduate.  Two weeks ago he came home for the weekend and I had an opportunity to talk to him and I asked him if he had ordered his cap and gown yet and he told me that the fitting was being scheduled for the following week.  I’ve never heard of having to get fitted for a cap and gown before but I let it drop.

My son called the house last night and talked to his mother.  Something was said, I’m not sure what, but it raised the question again if he would be graduating.  So today my wife called the school and spoke with someone at the admin office.  Come to find out my son will not be graduating this December.  My wife then called my son and confronted him with this newfound information.  He was currently in class but did admit that he indeed would not graduate.  She then called me at work and enlightened me on this information.

We’ve given my son the freedom to make his own choices since he is an adult but he has chosen not to tell us what his grades are and how he’s doing in school.  All he tells us is that he’s passing. His second year in college he failed two classes and had to make them up the following semester.  I told him then that I didn’t want any more surprises. I thought we had an agreement.

After I got off from work I made a phone call to my son.  I put him on speakerphone so that my wife could hear his responses.  First of all, I wanted to make sure he understood that we were not mad that he wasn’t finishing school in December.  I made it a point to tell him that although I wasn’t mad at him I was, however, disappointed that 1) that he didn’t tell us when he found out that he wouldn’t be graduating and that he led us to believe that he still was going to be graduating and 2) that he felt like he couldn’t come to us to tell us that there was a problem.

He’s got three more classes to take and he said that he could get them in next semester.  He’s already talked to his adviser and has everything lined up.  The only thing he doesn’t have is the money for the extra semester.  I’m not sure how we’re going to swing it either but we will make the sacrifices to make it happen.  Before I hung up with him tonight, I made it a point to tell him that we love him and that we will do whatever necessary to make this happen.

I’m hoping that we did the right thing today by calling him and confronting him with this.  I’ve always felt that the purpose of being a parent is to have your kids outshine you in knowledge and experience and at this point my son has already done that with me.  Just by going to college he’s already out done me.

FYI, i got three miles in just under an hour tonight without any problems with the treadmill.

“Life Goes On!”

365 Day Photo Challenge 288/365 “Pre Empty Nest Syndrome”

14 Wednesday Oct 2015

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Tomorrow my daughter’s turn 18.  I’m not ready for them to be this old.  One has been accepted to the same college that my son is going to and the other daughter hasn’t applied to any colleges yet but soon will.  Tonight my daughters went to church and left my wife and I at the house alone. We’ve been without our kids on several occasions but tonight it felt a little different.  I guess just knowing that in just a few months from now there is a very good chance that we will be experiencing the empty nest syndrome.  My wife and talked about this for a minute but my wife quickly changed the subject.  I could tell in her voice that she didn’t want to talk about it and soon it was clear to me because she had a tear run down her cheek.  It’s going to be much harder on her than on me I think.

“Life Goes On!”

365 Day Photo Challenge 272/365 “Another One College Bound”

28 Monday Sep 2015

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I say that with very mixed emotions.  I have twin 17 year old daughters and both of them have been looking into colleges lately, more this past week than ever.  I am not ready for them to go off to college.  They are my babies and I’m not ready for them to grow up much less go off to college.  I

When my son went off to college I was ok with it.  My wife, however, was not.  Although the school is not but 45 miles away he was not coming home but a few weekends out of the year.  My son and I had spent a lot of time together camping and doing other activities with the scouts so I I figured I’d have problems with him going away.

I’ts going to be different with me with my girls.  We don’t do a lot of things together because dad isn’t cool.  We don’t have anything in common and we don’t watch the same television shows.  It kind of reminds me of the commonality of my wife and I.  Anyway, when they go off to school they will be missed a lot.  I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it.  Just going to take it one day at a time.

“Life Goes On!”

365 Day Photo Challenge 257/365 “Baritones”

13 Sunday Sep 2015

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After all the yard work I did yesterday my back decided to go on strike today.  It’s been a rough morning.  I’ve made it to the recliner and have been able to do some computer stuff and while I was on FB I found where someone took a picture of my son directing the baritone section.  I was quite surprised.  This is his second senior year.  He should graduate in December of this year.

His life long dream has always been to go to Alabama and play in the Million Dollar Band.  The college is only about 45 minutes away from us but also one of the most expensive one around.  We had the Pact program but that only covered a little amount, the rest is with student loans.  The fact that he wanted to go and got accepted into the college and got accepted into the Million Dollar Band made it clear that this is where he should go.  I’m very proud of my son and all the accomplishments that he has made.  I think every parents dream is for his kids to do better than they did.  My son has surpassed this in many ways.