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~ Diabetes, Cancer Fighter, Father of Twins, Kayak Fishing, Lover of Life

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Tag Archives: Parents

A Doorbell Camera and a Second Chance With My Dad

12 Thursday Feb 2026

Posted by Tim Hughes Living with CML in Family, Life, Photography, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

age, Dad, Family, Life, love, Memories, Mom, Parents, Siblings, time, tremors, writing

A sunset through the windshield of my truck on my way home from installing the doorbell camera.

Today I had the privilege of spending most of the afternoon with my parents. Both of them are in their mid-eighties and, overall, are doing well. Mom has some health issues and deals with a lot of pain from arthritis and scoliosis. A woman who once stood nearly six feet tall is now just over five feet because she’s so hunched over. Dad is also hunched over some, but not from scoliosis — it’s from injuries sustained in a head-on collision they were both involved in back in 2016. I count it as a blessing every day that they are both still here after that accident.

Dad’s tremors are so bad now that he can’t sign his name anymore. If legal documents need to be signed, he either has me sign for him or uses a rubber stamp with his signature on it. He still eats with regular utensils, but you can tell it’s a struggle.

He called me last week because he bought a doorbell camera and needed help installing it. Today was the first day I’ve had without doctor appointments or other commitments that were hard to move on short notice.

My parents live about 45 minutes away. It’s really not that far, and honestly, I should visit more often — especially now.

When I got there, Dad was outside trying to remove the old doorbell. He was struggling because he didn’t have the right size screwdriver, and with his tremors… well, even with the right tool, it would have been tough.

After I got the old one off, we went inside, and he handed me the unopened box with the new camera. He told me it was supposed to use the existing doorbell wiring for power. I kept that in mind while reading the manual.

The problem was that nowhere in the manual did it mention using the existing wiring. What I was reading and what this 86-year-old man was telling me were two completely different things.

Let me pause and tell you something about my dad. He is never wrong. Or maybe more accurately… he never admits to being wrong. And he really doesn’t like being told he is. So installing this camera took a lot longer than it should have, mostly because I had to carefully explain that what he thought and what the manual said were not the same thing — without actually saying, “Dad, you’re wrong.”

I have a Ring doorbell at my house. Installing mine took about 30 minutes total — removing the old one, installing the new one, connecting Wi-Fi, and setting up the app. Thirty minutes, tops.

Today? It took from 11:30 AM until just after 4 PM to install the doorbell, set up and configure the app, connect the monitor to Wi-Fi, mount the monitor on the wall, and then teach Dad how to use everything. Between learning the system myself and teaching him step by step, it was a process.

I’m not sure if I should be embarrassed it took that long… or proud I got it done that fast, considering everything involved.

Growing up, Dad and I didn’t get along very well. The older I got, the worse it seemed to get. We were both hard-headed, both quick-tempered, and we yelled a lot. I never felt like I could please him. We fought often, and honestly, I was glad when the day came that I could move out.

But now I’m older. I have kids of my own. I’ve lived some life. And our relationship is better than it’s ever been.

I’m the oldest of four — two younger brothers and a baby sister. I don’t live the closest, but I’m probably the most mechanically inclined. I can turn a wrench. The others are more keyboard-and-screen guys. So when something physical or mechanical needs to be done, I usually get the call.

And honestly? I don’t mind anymore.

It gives me time with them. Real-time. Time I know is limited. It feels like I’ve been given a second chance with my dad.

It’s still not always easy. Telling him he’s wrong without telling him he’s wrong is an art form that requires patience and diplomacy.

When I left today, the doorbell was working, the monitor was mounted, and both he and Mom were thankful I came. As I was walking out, Dad said he didn’t think he could have done it himself because it was more complicated than he expected.

And truthfully, some of these modern devices are just more complicated than they need to be.

But today wasn’t really about installing a doorbell camera.

It was about time.
It was about patience.
It was about grace.

Because one day, there will be no phone call asking for help installing something.
One day, there will be no slow walk to the door to greet me.
One day, there will be no tremor-shaken hands trying to turn a screwdriver.

And when that day comes, I won’t remember how long it took to install that camera.
I’ll remember standing next to my dad.
I’ll remember my mom sitting nearby, hurting but smiling.
I’ll remember being needed.

If you’re lucky enough to still have your parents here, go see them.
Take the phone call.
Fix the thing.
Explain the manual.
Be patient.

Because sometimes second chances don’t come as big life moments.

Sometimes they show up as a five-hour doorbell installation on a random afternoon…
And you don’t realize how important it was until you’re driving home.

Time Doesn’t Stand Still

22 Wednesday Oct 2025

Posted by Tim Hughes Living with CML in Cancer, Depression, Family, Leukemia

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Cancer, Classmates, CML, Dating, Depression, Family, Grandkids, Great Grandkids, Kids, Lab Results, Leukemia, Life, love, Medications, mental-health, Old Age, Parents, Worrying, writing

The older I get, the more I realize that time doesn’t stand still. It seems like almost every week I hear about someone I used to go to school with or work with who has passed away. Just the thought of it can be depressing.

This past Saturday, I did a craft fair and happened to run into one of my high school classmates and her sister. We had a chance to catch up for a bit, and somehow the conversation turned to the classmates we’ve already lost. Sadly, cancer seems to have claimed most of them.

I’m 62 now — older than many of my classmates since I was held back a year — and although my health hasn’t always been the best, I count myself lucky to still be here.

Most of my classmates already have great-grandkids. Me? None of my three kids are married yet, so I’m not even a grandparent. Only one of the three is dating anyone right now, and I’m not sure when or if the other two will. That’s okay, though. I don’t ever want them to feel pressured. Still, before I go, I’d love to see all my kids married and maybe even get the chance to hold a grandbaby or two.

My parents, who are both in their mid to upper eighties, would love to see great-grandkids too. I have to remind my mom not to put pressure on my kids — she has a way of speaking her mind about things like that.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have a form of leukemia called CML. Right now, it’s under control. Sometimes one of the markers the doctors watch goes a little wild and sends everyone into a panic, but eventually, the numbers settle back down, and all is well again. I’ve come to accept that nothing I do can change the fact that I have CML. All I can do is take my daily pill, stay consistent, and be thankful that the medicine is working. Worrying won’t change the outcome.

Are you the worrying type? What’s the main thing that weighs on your mind — your kids, your health, your future, or something else? I get my worrying honestly; my grandmother on my mom’s side was a worrier, and my mom’s the same way. I guess it just runs in the family.

Improving? Not so Much.

28 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by Tim Hughes Living with CML in Cancer, Family, Leukemia, Photography

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Alabama, CML, Doctor, health, Kids, Leukemia, Million Dollar Band, Oncologist, Parents, Sick, University of Alabama

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I started back on my CML meds last Monday and to be honest I think my breathing has gotten a little worse. I’ve started climbing the steps at work a little more and trying to maintain at least 10,000 steps in a day. I spoke at length to my oncologist last Monday the day I started back on my Sprycell and he told me that the majority of the people who end up with water retention will do better at a lower dosage.  I’m now at 80 mg instead of the 100mg that I was once on.

I’ve decided not to just sit at home waiting to see if my lungs will fill back up with fluid.  I don’t really feel like getting out and doing anything but I feel that I’ve at least got to try  and get what little exercise that I can get.  I think it could only help matters if I get off the couch and do something.

Yesterday, my wife and I met our son at the university where my daughters are attending.  They’re both in the band, one plays the sax and the other is a band manager.  Yesterday was their parent preview show.  It was awesome seeing my daughter’s perform. I got to meet one of their roommates and enjoyed going out to dinner afterwards.  As usual it was hard for us to leave after visiting with them.

Today I went to my parents house to check on them as well as my bees.  It’s been at least two months since I’ve done either one.  The bee yard was grown up with weeds and it took everything I had to use my weedeater to chop down the weeds just so I could get to the beehive.  After about an hour of cleaning up I went and sat with my parents for a couple of hours.

It was hard to leave my parents. They are both getting up in age and their health is not as good as it used to be.  My mom had to have more surgery a couple of weeks ago on her diaphragm due to finding a hole where her colon and her intestine were coming through.  The doctors seem to think that this was caused by the accident they had back in February.

The above picture is of the band managers.  The young lady is my daughter.  What a  trooper.

365 Day Photo Challenge 248/365 “What We Will Do For Our Kids”

03 Thursday Sep 2015

Posted by Tim Hughes Living with CML in Photography

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

365 Day Photo Challenge, Alabama, Early Morning, MDB, Million Dollar Band, Parents, Photography, UofA

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My son, who is in the Million Dollar Band, leaves in the morning heading to Dallas Texas.  The buses load at 4 am in the morning. This is his fifth year playing for the University of Alabama and he’s used to getting up early to load the buses to head out on long trips but not this early.  He told me this morning that he will be getting up at 3am to get ready so he can get to the buses early.  He like to get there early to get a good seat on the bus.  Band members who are late pay hell and get reprimanded for not being on time.  I remember a couple of years ago a young lady overslept and by the time she got to where the busses were parked the bus had already left.  She and her roommate drove for nearly an hour to flag down the bus for her to load it.  The band director was not pleased and said “Never again will the busses stop for a student that is late.  He/she will simply not make the trip and receive not only a reprimand but will be forced to sit out the next performance.” So with that said, I will be doing my parental duty by setting my alarm clock for 3 am so that I can call my son so that I know he is up and getting ready so he won’t be late.  After all, he is one of the section leaders for his section and I would really hate for him to start the season showing a bad example to his section.  I just hope I can go back to sleep after I make the phone call.  He can sleep on the bus.  My boss would probably frown on me taking a nap while at work.

“Life Goes On!”

Life Does Have a Purpose

14 Sunday Sep 2014

Posted by Tim Hughes Living with CML in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Alabama, Band, CML, College, Diabeties, Million Dollar Band, Old Age, Parents

Life has been busy and full of activities.  Work still sucks but I only have 3 yrs 11 months and 15 days left before I can retire at 55.  But who’s counting?

My health hasn’t changed much.  My eyesight has not improved much and I’m still taking ejections every month.  My CML is still not under control yet but I’m hopping that by my next doctor’s visit that will change.  When I was diagnosed my levels were at 138%.  At my last visit two months ago it had dropped to .73%.  0% is where it needs to be.  My next visit will be this Tuesday so I’m hopping for the best.

I turned 51 one month ago tomorrow.  For my birthday my son gave me two sets of tickets to a couple of Alabama games.  What is so special about this is that my son plays for the Million Dollar Band.  He is a senior this year and we have not been to a game with ticket prices being as high as they are we just couldn’t afford for the rest of the family to go.

My wife and one of my daughters went to a wedding while my parents, my other daughter and I went to the game.  Needless to say getting to our seats was an adventure within itself. Both my parents are in their early to mid 70’s.  The tickets we had were in the highest portion of the stadium that you could be.  I was really worried for my mom who has trouble walking long distances.  Once we finally made it to our seats we all had a great time watching the game as well as watching our son march on the field.  Couldn’t see him but I know he was down there somewhere.

As l’m going through the pictures of yesterday, I am reminded that life moves quickly.  It seems just like yesterday that my son and I was playing catch in our back yard.  Now I’m seeing him in full uniform marching in a college band.  Where does the time go.  I took a picture of my parents with my son and daughter.  As I’m sitting here in front of the computer editing the picture I realize that life does have a purpose.  My parents had a purpose raising me and now it’s my turn to raise my kids.  I think my parents did an outstanding job with me and I’m hopping I’m doing the same with my kids.  So far no arrest records have been made on either of my kids so apparently I’m doing a fair job.

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