This has not been a good week. Fluid started collecting in my body. Each morning I would weigh and the number would be two to three pounds more than the previous day. I had gained nine pounds before I was able to start back on my booster meds. With the booster, it was not enough to have a loss week.
On another note, I got some results from my oncologist the other day. One of the things they test is my creatinine levels. It has gone up in the last couple of months. This is not good. The higher the number the closer I get to dialysis. For those that don’t know, I’m at stage 4 out of 5 kidney failure. I have got to limit my salt intake otherwise I’ll be on dialysis three days a week. I do not want that.
I turned 59 a few days ago. I did not go into a dark, deep depression. It was just another day for me. As many health problems as I have, I consider it a blessing just to wake up in the mornings. My wife, on the other hand, has an issue with each birthday she comes across. She’s a little over a year older than me and when she turned 60, let’s just say that she turned into a different person. It took a few days for her to get out of her slump. I’m not looking forward to next year.
I know I’ve written about it before but one of my health issues is that I’m having issues with my breathing. This has been an ongoing thing for several years. It started off as a side effect of one of my cancer medications. The medication was causing fluid to build up around my heart and lungs. I had to have fluid removed from around my lungs on four different occasions totalling up to around 5 liters. The first time I had it done they weren’t sure what was causing my breathing issue and it took several weeks of testing before they found out. During this time I wasn’t able to do much of anything without getting out of breath. Even walking a short distance became a struggle. Remember now, I was still trying to work through all of this.
Like I said, this has been an on going struggle for a couple of years now but after several medication changes it got better. Now it’s back but with a difference. There is no fluid around my lungs. X-rays have proved it. As with the other times, my weight would go up dramatically, and it’s doing the same thing now. I’ve gained upwards around 30 pounds in about a months time. That’s not normal. I’m on mediation to help relieve the fluid but I ran out last week. I had to wait until this week before I could get it refilled because of the insurance.
I think a big contributor to this is salt. I’m supposed to be on a low sodium diet but that’s hard for me to do. I’ve greatly reduced the amount of salt but I need to reduce it some more. Another thing that is not helping is, of course, my diet. I’ve got to do better. I’ve committed myself to a weightloss program for the next six months. But, until I get this fluid undercontrol, I will just continue to gain weight. Losing weight for me right now will definitely be a challenge. One, I get out of breath so easily so walking is a challenge even the treadmill will be a challenge. Two, the fluid. If I only knew the cause then I might could do something about that.2
On August 15th, my birthday, I weighed in at 287.2. On the 16th I weighed 287.4, 18th 288.5, 19th 290.5, also on the 19th I received my medication and the next day, the 20th I weighted in at 286.6. Of course I peed every thirty minutes or so. I haven’t weighed in this morning so I don’t know if I’ve lost any weight or not. BTW, I know I’m going to get some people telling me not to weigh everyday but this is what my cardiologist wants me to do. I should weigh about 275lbs once I get all the fluid off.
I’m planning on posting weekly to let everyone know how I’m doing on my weight loss.
Have you ever have one of those days where you just wanted to go back to bed and crawl under the covers and hide from the world hoping that no one would find you? Today was one of those days for me.
It started when I got on the scales this morning. Another 2 pounds gained. It’s tough seeing weight that you’ve already lost appear back on the scale. Where’s the encouragement to keep going if all you do is see is weight added back to the scale even making sure that you’ve stuck to your exercise program and your diet. Oh well, I’m going to keep going. Don’t really have a choice but to keep going.
What really made me want to hide from the world was the phone call I got from my oncologist this morning. If you’ve been following this blog long you will remember that I’ve got CML, a form of Leukemia. When I was first diagnosed my blood levels were at 133%. Six months ago at my last appointment my blood levels were down to .05%. A very good report indeed. Not today however, my levels went up to .65%. I go back to my oncologist in two weeks for more blood work then after that blood work comes back the doctor will make his decision as to what my next step will be.
I just learned a few moments ago that I was nominated for the Starlight Award by http://talkingtomyweightlosscounselor.com/ Deborah Crocker has a very inspirational blog and she has lifted me up with her comments as well as her prayers. I would appreciate it if you would go by and check her blog out. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.
This has been a Monday for sure. With us being shorthanded at work it’s becoming even more difficult to do what I’m supposed to do without being called out to do something else. I’m so far behind that it will take weeks to catch up. I’m not worried about it though. I’m going to do what I can do and not worry about what I can’t do.
I did spend nearly an hour on the treadmill tonight. My goal was to do three miles or an hour whichever came first but at mile 2.5 my right leg started cramping up on me. I didn’t stop, I just asked my wife to get me some pickle juice and kept going to make it to 2.75 miles.
I gained three pounds of my weight that I lost during last week. I guess not being able to get on the treadmill didn’t help matters none. I can’t tell you how much I hate losing weight that I’ve already lost before. I’ve been doing this all my adult life so I’m not sure why it bothers me so much. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow, right?
This year has been full of “New Beginnings” and not all of them have been all that good. I refuse to concentrate on the negatives and I’m trying to focus on all of the positives. Last year started off really bad and I was hoping that this year would be somewhat better.
My dieting hasn’t been very productive and I haven’t started exercising like I wanted and it’s already February. It just seems like there is always something preventing me from getting on the trainer or the treadmill. I’m always finding excuses and it’s always “I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ve lost 40 lbs in about four months two years ago and I know I can do it again it’s just getting started that’s the trouble.
I’ve got my first photoshoot tomorrow afternoon so my plan is to get up early, get on that treadmill for at least thirty minutes then get my day started. I need to set up a goal to reward myself for every so many pounds I lose. It needs to be something that I really enjoy, not food, and that it will be worth losing the weight other than my health. Any suggestions? I was thinking that every 20 pounds I would reward myself with something.
The above picture is of a couple that I shot for their engagement. It’s been over a year since they’ve been married and now she is currently pregnant and not doing to good. She’s in her final trimester and the poor girl has been sick since she’s gotten pregnant. She’s a sweet young lady and I’m sure she’ll be a great mother. After this one she’ll probably not get pregnant again. lol
It’s the weekend. I hope everyone has a great weekend and I hope you get to spend time with your loved ones.
I can’t wait until these holidays are over. I have no will power and I’m eating everything I can get my hands on. I’ve pretty much given up on my diet until after Christmas. After then it’s back on my trainer or treadmill.. I have my lab work in February so I’ve got to do something.
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