Christmas is a little over a week away and as usual I’m struggling to get everything bought. This year I’ve decided to make several of my gives to my friends and family. I may end up being that person that no one wants a gift from next year but it is what it is. I made my wife and kids Christmas ornaments honoring my cat that just recently passed. I’m really hoping that everyone likes them.
My wife and I are still dealing with the loss. We’ve also noticed that our other cat, Sophie, has started acting differently. I think it’s her way of dealing with his absence and the solitude she experiences when we’re not here. We’ve talked and I’d like to go ahead and get another little kitten but we’re not sure how Sophie will respond. She “tolerated” Clyde and was not really the best of friends but they got along for the most part. I think my wife will eventually agree but it will take some time for her to come around.
This will be Clyde’s marker for his resting place. I’ve been real busy and haven’t took the time time to get the marker done. If the truth is known, every time I sat down to work on it I got upset and couldn’t bare to think about it. There is currently a little wooden cross that my wife placed there until I could get this made. Once I have the marker in place I think this will be the closure that I will need. I will place the marker tomorrow after I get home from my oncologist appointment tomorrow afternoon. Maybe the rains will have moved out by then.
I’m sure I’ll post again but in case I don’t, I hope everyone has a happy holiday and a Merry Christmas.
This has got to be one of the hardest posts I’ve ever had to write. Around 3:30 p.m. today, my buddy Clyde crossed the rainbow bridge.
The day began with the first sign that something wasn’t right. Every morning for as long as I can remember, Clyde would wait for me to get out of the shower. That was his way of letting me know he wanted to be picked up and placed on the bathroom sink so he could drink from the faucet—his little daily ritual. But this morning, he didn’t come.
Instead, I found him lying on the kitchen floor next to the air vent, his head down. When I reached down to rub his head, he didn’t give his usual loud purr. That told me more than anything that he just wasn’t feeling good. My wife mentioned that he’d eaten a little, but nowhere near his usual amount.
I had a craft fair to prepare for and some coasters I needed to get printed. Between the power going out mid-print and the rush to get everything finished, I didn’t get the chance to check on Clyde again before leaving. But once I arrived at the fair, I called home. My wife told me he had eaten a bit more and was lying at the end of our bed, where he always slept. Still, something in the back of my mind whispered that we might be nearing the end. I told my wife she should let our daughters know so they could come spend some time with him.
They did. And after helping me load up my things when the fair ended around 2 p.m., they headed home but didn’t stay long.
Around 3 p.m., my wife was watching the Alabama game from our bedroom. Clyde was asleep at the foot of the bed. He woke up, stood, and looked like he wanted to go somewhere but wasn’t quite sure how. He took a couple of steps toward the edge of the bed—and then fell over.
My wife picked him up and placed him gently on the floor, but by then, he was already gone. It happened so quickly. She ran to get me, but the moment I saw him, I knew his precious spirit had already left.
We called the kids and, while they drove back, I went to the backyard to prepare his resting place. When the girls arrived, they spent nearly an hour with him—crying, talking to him, soaking up one last moment with their lifelong friend. Then we placed him in a box with his favorite towel, his favorite toy, and one of his favorite snacks (that one was my daughter’s idea).
Clyde now rests behind the shed, and we plan to place a marker after we get home from church tomorrow.
If he had made it to January, he would have been 21 years old. These last few years were challenging for him—and for us. He was on medication twice a day and had completely lost control of his bowel movements. Our bed was lined with tarps and towels so he could sleep comfortably during the day, and we had to rearrange everything at night so the wife and I could still sleep without worrying. He loved sleeping between us, so we created a little system of towels to protect him—and us—from the inevitable accidents.
It wasn’t easy. But we did it for him. He depended on us, and we loved him.
Because of his declining health, my wife and I haven’t taken a vacation in more than five years. It didn’t feel right to ask anyone else to manage his care. Boarding him was completely out of the question. With his heart condition, the stress alone would have been too much.
Now, with his passing, a huge hole has been created in our lives. The routines, the sounds, the small rituals—all suddenly gone. It’s going to take time to heal, but we’ll get there.
What I know for sure is this: Clyde was loved deeply. And he gave us more love in return than we could ever measure.
As I write this, we are experiencing a severe thunderstorm. This system has caused several tornado’s in the state of Mississippi but has weakened during its path over to our neck of the woods, in which I’m very thankful for. Looks like it may be a wet Saturday for us.
My cat, Clyde, hates thunderstorms and is sitting next to me on the floor looking for protection. He’s not a lap cat and hates to be picked up and will not sit with you or me or anyone else as far as that goes. But during storms, he seeks my protection and my protection only. He just heard a loud clap of thunder and off he goes behind my bed. He will not return until all is quiet again. Funny, cowardly cat.
Not much reaction to my video that I posted the other day. I guess that might my last one. I don’t know, I may try one more to see how it goes. I’ll give it some time though.
After I made the video, I went back to youtube and watched some video’s from the Leukemia Society. They had posted several videos of patients with CML as they described their weeks up to being diagnosed. They included bruising, Feeling tired all the time, headaches and wanting to sleep all the time. I never experienced any of that. On one video, the guy was saying that when he was diagnosed back in 2014, his white blood count was over 260. Mine was caught before it got that high. At the time of diagnoses, mine had gotten as high as 138. Maybe that’s the reason I didn’t experience any of the side effects; my numbers just wasn’t as high as his. I also read that one lady, who also was diagnosed in 2014, got her numbers down and was taken off all of her meds. She still get’s tested every six months but she no longer takes meds for her CML. That’s encouraging.
I hope everyone has a chance to get out and enjoys the weekend.
Good news!! I’m down three pounds this week. I’m trying to keep my carb intake to about 35 but I’m not doing so well. Maybe I’ll do better next week.
My meds still have not arrived. I guess I’ll call my oncologist on Monday if I don’t get it this weekend.
Tomorrow I plan on doing some cleaning up in my backyard. After which I plan on flying my drone. My son is coming home tomorrow sometime so I want to make sure I’m here when he get’s here. Next weekend is Easter weekend and all my kids should be home. I’m really looking forward to that. I can’t believe they’ve grown up on me. Two in college and one living on his own. They sure do grow up fast.
This has got to have been one of the longest weeks in history. After being off for two weeks, one of which was spent in the hospital, the other at home recuperating, working a full week and then off for another week; it’s been difficult for me to get myself out of bed and off to work. Motivation has been the key. With only .086 hours of PTO (Paid Time Off) I pretty much have to go to work or else I don’t get paid and with that the possibility of being disciplined is pretty much been my motivation to go to work.
The whole month of May was pretty much filled up with doctor’s appointments. With the fact that I knew that I was going to take off a week in June, I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time left over for a cushion just in case I had some medical issues or one of my kids or wife, for that matter, got sick. Not knowing that I myself would have to go back into the hospital for the flu and pneumonia didn’t help matters any. So, with that thought in mind I would always work over to make up for any time that I had to take off for a doctor’s appointment. Made for a very long month. Anyway, one of the doctor’s appointments was with a neurophysiologist. Not by my choice but my employers. It seems that my boss wanted me to go because of some mistakes that I’ve been making at work. Some of these mistakes were quite costly but luckily none were any danger to me or to my co workers. The appointment lasted for four hours and I failed several tests miserably. I talked to the doctor that performed the tests the next day and he told me that I had some sort of mental disability. He did not give me the diagnoses but told me that he would file a report and give it to my general practitioner. It’s been over a month and I’m still waiting for the results to come in. Another test that was performed was done while I was home recuperating. It was an appointment to check my feet. I spent two hours getting my feet shocked only for them to tell me what I already knew, Diabetic Neuropathy.
Back to the mental disability. With being diagnosed with CML and taking a form of chemotherapy, I’ve been told, not by doctors but by other people to look into Chemobrain. Personally, I don’t think I have this because I haven’t had a bone marrow transplant. But I do have most of the symptoms though. I have noticed that my short term memory is not as good as it used to be and while I can remember some things deep in my childhood other memories during that same time frame I can’t remember at all. At first I just counted it as getting old but after losing several arguments with the wife I have come to the realization that maybe it’s not just about getting old any more. And with the current result from the neurophysiologist I tend to agree that I do have some sort of mental issues. What can be done about it remains to be seen.
A bit of good news is that while I was away on vacation my oncologist called me with the results of my last set of tests. It seems that my Bcr-Abl tests came back any my numbers were a whole lot lower. In his words, “the numbers bottomed out”. He didn’t give me the exact numbers but he did say that they have not been any lower since my diagnosis. I can’t wait to go back in two weeks to see what the numbers actually are.
With all that’s happening in my life right now, especially with my health, my friends are all concerned that I would try to end it all. I’m not sure as to why they feel this way. I’ve never given them any cause for concern in that area. At least I don’t think so. All I know, there is no way there is any possibility of that ever happening. If someone even remotely suggests that I committed suicide someone better be on the lookout for a murderer. I’ve got too much to live for right now for me to commit something cowardly as that.
I know I’ve posted this picture before but this one fits tonight’s topic so well. Every time my girls leave the house, whether it’s going to school, to church or just going out to the store with their mom, Sophie will either sit by the door or sit on the back of the couch looking outside waiting on her girls to come home. Most of the day while the girls are away at school both of our cats will stay on the foot of my bed but when it gets close to the time for the girls to get home Sophie will take her place on the back of the couch and wait for her girls to come home. Once the girls are home she stays by their side until they go to bed. I’ve never owned a cat that was so dedicated to any of my kids as she is. The other cat is just happy that we feed him and keep his food dish completely ful.
Clyde is taking a nap after playing with his mouse.
It feels like I’m in a holding pattern for the next few weeks. Every weekend for the whole month of October will be filled with something going on. Luckily some of my time will be spent with the family but there will be a lot of time away from them.
My next “official” day off will be for the Thanksgiving holidays. I don’t have any doctor’s appointments until mid December. Maybe I can use this time to build my vacation time.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow with my general practitioner. I see him every six months and have been every since I’ve been diagnosed with Diabetes. If you don’t have a regular doctor I would highly suggest that you get one. If it wasn’t for my biannual checkups my CML would not have been diagnosed until it was too late.
I’ve got to talk to him about several items that I’m having problems with so it might be a longer visit than normal. I will not be going back to work after my appointment. I’m sort of looking forward to a little time off.
This is what I wanted to do all weekend but it didn’t go as planned. I did get a few things accomplished and I did get to spend some time with my family as well as my mom and dad this weekend. Why does the weekend always seem to go faster than the week. Time flies when you’re having fun I guess.
Due to forgetfulness on my part, there are several errands that will have to be done in the morning because I forgot to do them tonight. This will only add to the many things that I’ve got planned for this weekend.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I had hoped to have a nice relaxing day at the house with maybe a bike ride to break the monotony. It turns out I’m going to ride to Tuscaloosa to see my son rehearse with the marching band and give him his new phone. So, with that being stated my day will start early in the morning.
I hope everyone has a great and enjoyable weekend.
Grayfeathersblog 