, , , , , , , , ,

I woke up to the sound of the bathroom door closing and my daughters inside getting ready for work.  Normally I try to sleep in on the weekends but the last two mornings I’ve gotten up to the sound of my girls taking showers and doing their hair.  This has been so tough on me because my baby girls are growing up on me.  What made is so bad today is that my wife had found some pictures of them yesterday when they were about four or five playing with our then kittens.

I have never been diagnosed with depression but I know I have it at times.  Today was one of those days.  I didn’t ride my bike, too windy was my excuse.  I spent the day on my computer looking at pictures of my kids when they were little.  Not really feeling sorry for myself but then again maybe.  When my girls are at home we don’t spend much time with each other because our interests are so different.  They stay in their room watching tv and I stay in the den either on my laptop or watching tv or both.

The girls are seventeen and are both working at a local water park.  I am not ready for them to be working but I’m proud of them that they want to work and earn money to spend as they wish.  My girls are smart and make great grades in school and have never given us any cause to worry.  Neither one date which is fine by me because some of the boys they hang around with would not be my first pick for a boyfriend.

As a parent I worry about each of my kids.  My son is going back to school tomorrow and I won’t see him for several months.  But I worry about them each time they get behind the wheel.  My girls are not that experienced behind the wheel and I just worry that each time they leave the house it may be the last time I see them alive.

I’m reminded of yesterday while at the ballpark all those kids that are dependant on their parents to do everything for them.  My kids are independant and I’m proud for that but I’m also reminded that it wasn’t that long ago when they did depend on us to everything for them.  I sometimes miss that.

“Life Goes On!”