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I was doing so well and then just like a car hitting a stone wall, it stopped.  It’s really laughable.  This has happened so many times in my life that it really didn’t come as a surprise.  I’m upset and then again I’m not because I knew this was going to happen.  In the past several months I have forked out about $100 on diet plans and a gym membership.  I was following both when I got sick and had to be put in the hospital.  Of course, when I got out I was so weak that I didn’t feel like doing anything, including eating right.  I saw myself sliding down but I just didn’t feel like doing anything about it.  I thought about Thanksgiving coming up and that didn’t help any with all that food around so I decided to wait until the first of December.  Starting on the first of the month always seems easier for me for some reason.  Well here it is the 3rd of December and I’m already sliding a bit. It’s been too cold to get out and do any walking or hiking.  I’ve got a membership at a local church gym but I have always had an excuse as to why not to go.  It’s will power, or should I say, the lack of it, is the main reason I’m not doing well.

Since I know what the problem is you would think I would know how to fix it.  Well, I don’t.  I eat the wrong things, I snack too much, I don’t exercise enough.  I come up with a plan to exercise and I always find an excuse why not to exercise.  I’m doomed.  I’m by myself during the day and I have no one to push me out of this recliner.  I have no one to hold me accountable but me and I’m not doing a very good job.  This cold weather is killing me because it’s too cold for me to get out and do any type of walking.  I don’t want to even get out to get to my truck to drive to the church where I’m sure the gym is heated.

I’ve lost 50 pounds before and I know I can do it again but I was working then.  I had to get up and get out of the house by a certain time.  I walked at least 15,000 steps a day then, now, I’m good to get around 4,000 steps.  I had my meals at the same time every day because everything was structured.  Now, not so much.  I have my wife get me up at 6:30 every morning so that I can take some of my daily meds.  I have to wait an hour before I can finish my meds and eat breakfast.  Then it’s a six-hour wait until lunch. I do this because of my cancer med can’t be taken within six hours of one of my morning meds.

Tomorrow is a new day.  Let’s hope I do better than the past two.